is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am available for nakedness
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
