i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
