Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
