Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
