The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
