I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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