Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
