he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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