I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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