Apparently you make a good broom.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
