would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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