Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
