She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
