how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
