friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Panties = found
Randomize
