he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
