why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
