I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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