So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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