last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
