its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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