When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
