You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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