the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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