I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
