They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
