Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
