She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
