Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
