don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
