i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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