I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
