I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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