he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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