So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
