I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
