I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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