This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
