absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
