I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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