guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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