We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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