We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
