I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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