Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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