I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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