saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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