see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
