Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
