Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
