Yo dont text me then not text me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
